High school student Tanner: "Never in the history of North Gateway High had any student admitted out loud to being an honest-to-goodness, card-carrying, proud -- or even slightly modest -- homosexual..." (0:02)
Tanner's friend Brent's mother asks Brent and Tanner, "Hey, you boys have any poppers? A popper would really hit the spot right now."
Brent tells Tanner, "You'll just be another headless torso in a sea of low self-esteem." (0:11)
Student Soledad tells her friends, "Somewhere in this school there's a sexually confused boy..." (0:13)
Tanner tells Brent, "You're obsessed with that stupid app." (0:15)
Jock Hamilton asks Tanner, "What're you looking at, fag-off? What, are you... what, are you checking out my... balls? You trying to check out my balls?"
Sophie tells Soledad, referring to Tanner, "Leave him alone, you desperate psycho bitch."
"Are you a psycho...?" (0:16)
Brent tells Tanner, "I freaked."(0:17)
Tanner asks another student, "You know what, Soph? I have bigger things to worry about than Brent's psycho mama drama." (0:20)
Classmate 'Shley tells the others, referring to homosexuality, "I mean it is a sin and all, but we Mormons pretty much thing everything's a sin, including those caffeinated beverages..."
Classmate Caprice: "... I know all the stylists at Hairoin Salon..." (0:23)
'Shley tells Tanner, "I'm bring enough diet caffeine-free ginger ale for everybody." (0:31)
Fawcett tells Tanner, "That is just the kind of bitchy gay insight I'm looking for." (0:31)
Tanner tells 'Shley's boyfriend 'Topher, "You Mormons are a horny, repressed people." (0:37)
Brent texts Tanner, "My mom's INSANE." (0:37)
'Shley asks Caprice, "Hey, do you know if there's caffeine slash alcohol in a Chica-Cloca?" (0:41)
Fawcett asks Tanner, "If you're really that nervous, then just blow off what's-his-name..." (0:42)
Brent's mom, watching Brokeback Mountain : "Heath... get in the tent with Jake..." (0:42)
Fawcett tells Tanner, referring to 'Shley, "She's cray cray." (0:44)
Glenn tells 'Shley, "You're drunk, plus you're Mormon, which like totally exacerbates the whole being drunk thing..." (0:45)
Tanner tells Brent, "I am drunk."
"... when we got to Heath and Jake grunting in a tent, I started drinking heavily."
"... I'm stuck home with Mommie Dearest."
Tanner: "I'm picturing you watching Brokeback with your mom."
Brent: "... she's driving me crazy." (0:47)
Brent tells Tanner, "We were drunk."
"... now you want me to jump out your window?" (0:50)
Tanner: "The next Monday I still couldn't shake my hangover..." (0:51)
Caprice tells Tanner, referring to her friend Christian, "Apparently, you being the only decent-looking, age-appropriate gay guy in a twenty mile radius has given him a convenient case of boner-induced amnesia." (0:52)
Teacher Ms. Hoegel tells G.S.A. members, referring to her own G.B.F., "He moved to San Diego with a leather queen." (0:57)
Glenn tells Sophie, "I told you, this is crazy."
Sophie tells Fawcett, "I'll start mourning now." (1:02)
Classmate McKenzie tells the other students, "... we will organize a protest of their deviant dance of debauchery." (1:09)
Brent tells McKenzie, "Okay, so while you crazy Christians are outside..." (1:10)
Brent tells Caprice: "My mom may think you're a drag queen."
His mom tells Brent, "... your mom loves you... crazy a lot..." (1:14)
Glenn tells Sophie,.."You of all people know that this insanity needs to be documented." (1:16)
Tanner tells Sophie, "I feel a monster stress zit coming on." (1:20)
Caprice tells a group of protesters, "You can stay out here... with this crazy bitch or... come inside... with this crazy bitch. I mean, do you really want to go to heaven if it's filled with nothing but psychos like her?" (1:24)
Tanner: "They both make you kind of insane... or make you confused... or crazy horny, even." (1:26)