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Meet the Fockers

Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Owen Wilson, Spencer Pickren, Bradley Pickren, Alanna Ubach, Ray Santiago, Tim Blake Nelson
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Nurse Greg listens to his father’s voice on voicemail: “Honey, I’m in the mood for a chimichanga.” (0:02, 0:11, 0:14)

Greg tells his teacher fiancee Pam, referring to their parents, “Oh, they’re great in small doses.”
Pam: ”48 hours in Coconut Grove is a small dose.” (0:03)

Pam tells Greg, “I think it kind of freaks my mom out.” (0:10)

His future father-in-law, retired CIA agent Jack, tells Greg, “Well, during the breast-feeding stage, Greg, infants can get very confused and upset when they’re separated from their mothers, so I invented something to ease L.J.’s anxiety during chow time.” (0:15)

Greg tells Jack, “I get the metaphor.” (0:19)

Greg tells his mother Roz, referring to Pam’s parents, “It’s just we agreed to be discreet about you being a sex therapist this weekend, at least until you get to know Jack and Dina a little better. (0:25)

Jack: “What kind of work does your mother do with those patients, Greg?”
Greg: “It’s sort of... couples therapy...” (0:28)

Greg’s mother Roz tells Greg’s lawyer father Bernie, “At least you have the libido of a teenager.”
Bernie tells Jack, “We’ll get drunk.” (0:30)

Jack tells Roz, “... this way L.J. would avoid nipple confusion.”
Roz: “You’re avoiding confusion by strapping a boob on a man?”
Jack: “... it is less confusion because of the texture...” (0:31)

Greg tells Pam, referring to Jack, “He’s a human lie detector.” (0:35)

Bernie tells Jack the C.L.I.A. stands for “The Central Lack of Intelligence Agency.”
Bernie: “Anyone in the mood for Chinese?” (0:44)

Greg tells Jack, referring to Roz and Bernie, “... I think they were just nervous...” (0:47)

Greg tells Roz and Bernie, “Just don’t therapize the Byrneses this weekend at all, okay? (0:49)

Roz tells Greg, referring to Jack, “That guy is in such denial he thinks his daughter is still a virgin.”
”Well, you know, honey, many unplanned pregnancies happen because... the woman craves his sperm on an unconscious but very powerful level.” (0:57)

Roz tells Jack, referring to Greg, “He has wonderful parental instincts.”
Greg tells Jack, ”They don’t call me Barry Poppins for nothing.”
Jack: ”Why would someone call you Barry Poppins?” (0:58)

Roz tells Dina, referring to Jack, “He seems very uptight.”
Dina: “His job was very stressful.”
Roz: “Being a florist is stressful?”
”I’m a sex therapist...” (1:00)

Bernie: “Jack, are you in the mood, amigo?” (1:04)

L.J. watches a part of a scene from Scarface on television. (1:06, 1:07)

Jack tells Greg, “I don’t care if they did call you Larry Poppins...”
Greg: ”It was Barry Poppins.”
Jack asks Roz, “Will you spare me the drugstore psychology.”
Jack tells Greg, referring to L.J., “He put on Scarface...” (1:08)

Roz tells Greg, referring to Jack, “He’s also a little bit mashugana.”
Bernie asks Greg, “Why should we diminish our joy just because they live in denial.” (1:12)

Roz tells Jack, “You know, most back pain is psychological.” (1:14)

Bernie tells Greg, referring to Jack, “... I have to tell you El Stiffo is really starting to freak me out.” (1:17)

Jack examines a vial labeled sodium pentothal. (1:19)

Greg tells Jack, “It’s just another one of your crazy theories.”
Jack: “I was gonna offer you a sedative.”
Jack injects Greg’s neck: “You’ve been injected with a highly concentrated dose of sodium pentothal, street name truth serum. You will have no recollection of this in a few minutes...” (1:25)

Pam tells Greg, “Well, you got drunk and told my dad I’m pregnant.”
”I don’t even remember drinking.” (1:31)

Dina tells the others, referring to Jack, “He shot Greg with truth serum before his speech.”
Roz: “You drugged my son?”
Bernie: “I was in a trance.” (1:33)

Greg tells the others, “This is crazy.” (1:36)

Highway patrolman LeFlore tells Greg, “Your central nervous system has been incapacitated...” (1:40)

Bernie tells Greg and Jack, “I’m confused.”
”Truth serum, DNA matches -- who the hell are you, Jack Byrnes?” (1:42)

Roz tells L.J., referring to Jack, “... he’s a little wacko...” (1:50)

Greg tells L.J. “... you’ve gotta learn to keep secrets from your psycho grandpa, Jack. He was actually upset upset when you crawled out of the playpen, which is why we’d never tell him that instead of watching you I was actually out by the lagoon smoking a little reefer.” (1:52)