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The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd, Romany Malco, Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Leslie Mann, Jane Lynch, Gerry Bednob, Shelley Malil
flunitrazepam | Rohypnol | marijuana
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Retail stock clerk Andy tells salesman Cal, “God, Friday... I really wanted an egg salad sandwich, and I was just obsessing about it...”
Cal gestures a pistol shot to his own head.” (0:04)

Salesman David tells Manager Paula: “... if you don’t... I’m going to... and put a bullet in my brain.” (0:05)

Salesman Jay tells salesman Mooj, “This is crazy.” (0:06)

David tells Jay and Cal, “I just wanna get drunk...” (0:07)

Andy tells David, “... and then I got older, and I got more and more nervous...” (0:18)

David tells Andy, “No, that’s crazy.”
Referring to a former girlfriend: “Because she’s dating this pot dealer.” (0:18)

Andy, in a dream: “I mean I’m kind of nervous.” (0:21)

Jay tells Andy, “You about to go run down some drunk chicks, alright, and don’t confuse that with tipsy. We talkin’ ‘bout drunk.”
”All you got to do is use your instinct. Show me your instincts.”
”Instincts. Show me your instincts; show me your instincts.”
”Own your instincts.”
“All you doing is using your instinct.”
”Tackle drunk bitches.”
Andy: “You know, I don’t feel comfortable hitting on drunk bitches.”
”Okay, how do I tell which ones are drunk?”
Jay: “Okay, now with your peripherals you’ve got to scope out a hot drunk chick.”
”... and remember, it’s more important that she’s drunk than she’s hot.”
David: “Too drunk.”
Andy tells Cal, “I’m having trouble finding the drunk people.” (0:23)

A girl asks Andy, “Are you drunk?”
She hands him a breath analyzer car interlock: ”Blow into this.”
“I am in a bad mood.” (0:28)

Jay tells Andy, “... when you pick up a drunk woman who’s falling down on her way out of the bar that you should probably drive.”
”... you’re psyching yourself into thinking it’s some impossible feat.” (0:32)

Store owner Trish tells Andy, “... I wanna maybe look like a professional and not like a crazy person...” (0:35)

Andy smokes marijuana with a bong made from an apple. (0:37)

Andy tells the others, referring to urinating in public, “I’ve got a mental block about it.” (0:37)

Jay tells Andy he is watching “Dawn of the Dead, man.” (0:38)

Cal tells Andy, referring to Jay and David, “Those guys are crazy.”
”When I was growing pot, I realized that the more seeds I planted, the more pot I could ultimately smoke.”
”Be David Caruso in Jade.” (0:44)

Bookstore clerk Beth tells Andy, “... if the mood strikes.”
Andy: ”How is the mood striking you now?” (0:47)

By telephone Trish tells Andy, “Can you get to a roof quickly? Jump off... Go shoot yourself in the... head... Get a knife and run into it.” (0:49)

David asks Andy, “Did you ever see School of Rock?” (0:50)

Paula tells Cal, referring to Andy, “You’re just projecting all over him. He might be an idiot savant...” (0:55)

Andy tells Cal, referring to David, “He thinks you’re a pothead.” (0:56)

Speed date Andrea asks Andy, “Are you... retarded?”
Andy: “Do you want me to be... retarded?”
His old girlfriend Amy tells David, “Psycho talk.”
Cal tells Amy, referring to David, “... you’re giving him hope, and it’s driving the man crazy.”
Amy: “He’s practically stalking me.”
Cal tells Jay, “You’re gonna go crazy when I tell you.” (0:57)

His girlfriend Jill tells Jay, “You shouldn’t even be hanging out with this pervert.” (1:01)

Jay tells Andy, “Dude, the floor’s the ultimate aphrodisiac.” (1:01)

Andy tells Jay, “Hiring a transvestite prostitute isn’t helping me, man.”
Jay: “I didn’t hire no damn transvestite.”
”If that sister was a transvestite, that was the Mona Lisa of transvestites.”
Cal: “You got a hummer from the tranny...” (1:03)

David tells Cal, “You like the movie Maid in Manhattan.”
David takes a hit from a bong. (1:09)

Jay asks Andy, referring to his imagined husband of Trish, “What if he got boys that’s on the outside, and they stalking you?”
Cal: “‘Cause I watched this movie called Liar Liar...” (1:19)

Cal lights a joint.
Cal lights a glass pipe. (1:26)

Jay tells Andy, “I came home a little tipsy...” (1:31)

Paula asks Cal, “Do you have any weed?”
Cal: “Yeah, I have some weed.”
Paula: ”Just enough to get me baked for about a week.”
Cal: ”That’s a lot of weed.”
Paula: “I just wanna be baked the whole time... watch Gandhi...”
Cal: “Gandhi baked is good.”
”I always feel bad when I watch it baked...” (1:41)

Trish tells Andy, “I just think we should go crazy on each other.” (1:45)

Cal tells David, “Yes you are, man, ‘cause your depression is boring me... and it’s actually making me a little depressed which is then in turn making me more depressed that you’re actually affecting my mood.” (1:48)

Andy asks Cal, “Hey, how many pots have you smoken?” (1:50)

Trish asks Andy, “This your date drug, your rufie?”
”What are you, some kind of sex pervert, a deviant or something?”
Andy: “I’m not a sexual deviant.” (1:59)

Jay asks Jill, “It’s crazy, right?”
Jill: “It’s... crazy.” (2:04)