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Disney's The Kid

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Cast
Bruce Willis, Spencer Breslin, Emily Mortimer, Lily Tomlin, Jean Smart, Chi McBride, Daniel von Bargen, Dana Ivey, Jeri Ryan
Released
2000
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Image consultant Russell Morley "Russ" Duritz tells his client the governor, "Self-pity." (0:02)

Russ’s administrative assistant Janet tells Russ, "I can hear the stress in your voice. Whenever you’re stressed, you wear the yellow tie... so you’re probably going to yell at me, which I’m not in the mood for..."
Russ: ”I am not stressed.” (0:06)

Russ tells his coworker Amy, "I must be really stressed out."
Amy: ”Distract yourself. Honor your instincts.”
”Come on, grumpy.” (0:14)

A driver yells at Russ, "Look out, you idiot." (0:22)

Sign: "Psychotherapy Associates"
Russ tells psychiatrist Suzanne Alexander, ”Thank you, but I only require a five-minute hour, or however long it takes you to write a prescription.”
”Look, I don’t want therapy. I don’t need therapy.”
”Because I’m not like the other nut-balls that roll through here, okay? I don’t have a smoking problem. I don’t have a drinking problem.”
”I’ve been hallucinating a guy in a plane, and these delusions or whatever it is you people call them, seem to be getting worse.”
Dr. Alexander: ”And you think this kid is a hallucination, too?”
Russ: ”I don’t have a tic.”
Dr. Alexander: ”I didn't say you have a tic.”
Russ: ”It’s not a tic.”
”Because I’m having hallucinations, and I’m asking you to make them go away with very powerful medication....”
Dr. Alexander: ”You’re having these hallucinations for a reason.” (0:24)

Russ realizes the boy is himself at a young age. (0:31)

Russ tells the boy, "Okay, hallucination, get out."
”I am having a nightmare, okay, and my nervous breakdown. This is my first nervous breakdown...”
”Hey, I don’t have time to go crazy, okay? So if you want me to go crazy, you’re gonna have to get on the phone and call Janet...”
”You are just a hallucination... I’m taking the very powerful medication.” (0:33)

Russ asks Janet, "Do you remember when I had you sign those confidentiality papers at the office?"
”This little boy is me at age 8...”
”How was the therapist this morning?”
Janet tells eight-year-old Russ, ”My boss appears to have lost his mind.” (0:35)

Boxer Kenny tells Russ, "I’m a nervous eater."
”You’d be nervous too if you was gettin’ married tomorrow.” (0:51)

Amy faints. (0:57)

Russ asks Amy, "Are you out of your mind?" (0:59)

Amy tells young Russ, "Don’t worry about it."
”Don’t worry.” (1:00)

Clarissa tells Russ, referring to young Russ, "Driving you crazy, huh." (1:02)

"You join the track team, find a speech therapist and continue to work your butt off." (1:09)

Russ tells Deidre Lefevre, referring to Amy, "She’s neurotic." (1:13)

Russ’s father asks his mother, "Are you out of your mind?" (1:27)

Older Russ tells Russ, "Yeah, well, I wouldn’t worry about it." (1:33)