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Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

John Cho, Kal Penn, Rob Corddry, Jack Conley, Roger Bart, Neil Patrick Harris, Danneel Ackles, Eric Winter, Paula Garcés, Jon Reep, Missi Pyle
George Bush | cocaine | marijuana | psilocybin | sertraline | Zoloft | tobacco
Spoiler alert
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Harold & Kumar Go to Whitecastle

His friend Kumar Patel tells Harold Lee, "Don't worry." (0:02)

Harold tells Kumar, "Maria’s gonna think I'm a stalker, man."
Kumar: ”You don't see me freaking out. Don't worry, man. She'll be psyched to see you.”
Harold: ”Psyched? Do you think she's gonna be psyched?” (0:03)

A TSA officer tells Kumar, "Sir, it's our job, as airport security, to search for all possible weapons or illegal drugs."
Kumar: ”So just because of the color of my skin, you assume that I have drugs on me?”
Kumar tells a TSA supervisor, ”Sir, Matthew Perry over here thinks that I have illegal narcotics on me because I'm a minority.” (0:04)

Harold tells Kumar, "This is nuts. This is nuts." (0:08)

Kumar, showing Harold a bag of marijuana, asks Harold, "What about the really high club?"
Harold: ”Are you retarded?”
Harold: ”You brought weed on the,,, airplane?”
Kumar: ”Meet the smokeless bong.”
”So take a little weed...”
Harold, referring to Amsterdam: ”It's the weed capital of the world.”
Harold: ”Put the bong away.”
Kumar: ”Take the inaugural hit, dude.” (0:09)

Harold tells the other passengers, referring to Kumar, "He’s just an idiot."
Kumar: ”This is just a bong.”
Kumar: ”it's a waterpipe for tobacco.”
Harold: ”It's marijuana, marijuana.”
Kumar tells an air marshal, ”That's a bong, not a bomb.” (0:11)

Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security Ron Fox, asks Deputy Frye, referring to Harold, "He handicapped or something?" (0:14)

Harold tells Kumar, "We were about to have all the legal weed we wanted..."
Harold: ”My idiot friend here brought in marijuana on the plane.”
Fox: ”I know your operation’s funded through drugs.” (0:14)

Harold’s father tells Fox’s interpreter, "Oh, shut up, you idiot." (0:30)

Vanessa tells Kumar, "You know, a lot of girls find intelligence sexy."
Kumar: ”That's why I'm so stressed out right now.”
Vanessa: ”Stressed out, huh?”
As she prepares to light a joint, Kumar asks her, ”You're smoking drugs in the library?”
Vanessa: ”Don't worry.”
Kumar takes a toke, then Vanessa shotguns him. (0:33)#

Farmer Raymus, opening a box of joints, tells Harold and Kumar, "We're gonna have to get high first." (0:42)

Harold: "I never knew farmers smoked weed."
Raymus: ”You ever tried farmin’ not high?”
”This is going to sound crazy...” (0:43)

Kumar tells Harold, "That's how Chunk won over sloth in The Goonies." (0:45)

Raymus tells Harold & Kumar, "Don't worry."

In his dream, a human-sized bag of marijuana gets in bed with Vanessa and Kumar. (0:47)

When Kumar offers Harold a joint, Harold says, "Dude, I don't want a... hit."
”Potential future president, or unemployed pothead?” (0:49)

Their friend Neil Patrick Harris offers to Harold and Kumar, "Oh, ‘shrooms?" (0:55)

Harold tells Neil, "You've had dozens of shrooms, my friend."
Neil: ”I think I can handle a couple of mushrooms.” (0:58)

Her fiance Colton asks Vanessa, "Why would you have a joint, when you know it could ruin my political career?"
Vanessa: ”With all the wedding plans, I've just been a little stressed.”
Colton: ”Marijuana is illegal, Vanessa.”
”... if you get stressed out, just do what I do. Snort Zoloft, okay?” (1:01)

Neil eats the rest of the mushrooms. (1:02)

Fox tells Neil, "... your part in Starship Troopers truly, truly changed my life."
Neil hallucinates unicorns then his own double. (1:03)

Neil tells Harold and Kumar, "Try having that conversation on ‘shrooms." (1:04)

Vanessa finds a joint hidden under a rock. She smokes it. (1:12)

Colton tells Harold, "No worries... but don’t worry..." (1:14)

Kumar tells Fox, "We're not even Muslim, you moron..." (1:16)

Kumar tells Harold, "I brought weed on the plane."
Guard Burl: ”You got weed?”
Kumar: ”Hey Burl, uh, I actually still have some weed.” (1:18)

Harold tells Kumar, referring to Fox, "Don’t worry about him." (1:21)

Harold shows Kumar a photograph of George W. Bush just before Bush himself interrupts them. (1:22)

Kumar picks up a plastic bag in Bush’s house: "Dude, this is weed."
Bush: ”That’s Alabama Kush.”
Kumar: ”You get high and put other people who smoke weed in jail?”
Bush: ”So shut the... up and smoke my weed.” (1:23)

Coton tells Vanessa, "Don't worry, Chestnut." (1:24)

Bush smokes a joint and shares it with Kumar..
Bush: ”I laced it with blow...”
Harold, smoking a joint: ”If you like weed so much, why don't you just legalize It?”
Bush: ”Don’t worry.” (1:24)

Kumar tells Vanessa, "Sorry, I smoked weed with the President earlier." (1:31)

Vanessa and Kumar share a joint in Amsterdam. (1:32)

Harold tells the others, "I'm so confused."
Kumar: ”Ladies and Roldy, how would you like to get really... high since we’re in Amsterdam?”
When the four walk away, a hookah appears on a shelf behind them. (1:33)

The four share a joint. (1:34)