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Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops

CastBud Abbott, Lou Costello, Fred Clark, Mack Sennett, Joe Besser
Year released1955
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Movie poster: "The Phantom Creeps" (0:01)

Willie Piper tells his friend Harry Pierce, "... where the little girl says... please Papa, don’t beat me... don’t beat me, Papa." 
A passerby tells Harry: ”You should be ashamed of yourself, beating up your son like that.” He punches Harry in the face.
”If I ever catch you beating that boy again...”
Harry asks Willie, ”What’s the idea of having me beat up?”
Willie: ”I didn’t mean to have you beat up...” 
Harry: ”I’ll take the money after I have you beat up... Don’t strike your poor old father. Don’t strike your poor old dad... Don’t hit me. Please don’t hit me.” 
Willie: ”... don’t have me beat up. Don’t have me beat up. Please don’t have me beat up. Don’t beat me up.” 
Harry strikes Willie on the head, rendering him unconscious. (0:06)

Willie strikes Harry on the head with a hammer. (0:11)

A train signal hits Harry in the head, rendering him unconscious.
Willie faints
Harry regains consciousness. (0:15)

Willie regains consciousness.
The man driving the wagon stutters. (0:16)

Director Sergei Toumanoff (actually Joseph Gorman): "The greatest Indian fight ever to be filmed, ruined by a couple of idiots." (0:33)

Producer Rudolf Snavely tells Toumanoff, "... Oh, it’s suicide." (0:35)

Toumanoff tells Leota Van Clef, referring to Willie, "After I make him jump from the plane today neither of us will worry about our careers." (0:40)

Willie, dressed as a woman, tells Harry, "A woman’s intuition." (0:45)

His assistant Hinds tells Toumanoff, "Don’t worry, chief..." (0:43)

The gunner tells the pilot, "Some fool put live ammunition in here..." (0:50)

Harry tells Willie, "Oh, don’t be so selfish..." (0:50)

Soumanoff tells Snavely, "Don’t worry..." (0:53)

Liota calls Hinds, "Imbecile." (0:56)

Soumanoff faints. (0:57)

Toumanoff strikes a burglar on the head with a bottle. (0:59)

The burglar strikes Willie on the head with a club. (1:00)

Toumanoff strikes Harry on the head with a bottle. (1:01)

Willie strikes Harry on the head. (1:01)

Liota: "Oh, be patient, Hinds..." (1:06)

Liota strikes Harry over the head.
Toumanoff strikes Willie on the head with a chair. (1:07)

Harry: "Don’t worry, Mr. Snavely..." (1:08)

Toumanoff tells Liota, "Don’t worry..." (1:09)

Toumanoff tells Willi and Harry, "You fools, those are the Keystone Kops..." (1:17)

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