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Anything Else

Woody Allen, Jason Biggs, Christina Ricci, Danny DeVito, Stockard Channing, Jimmy Fallon, Erica Leerhsen, Fisher Stevens, David Conrad, Kadee Strickland, Adrian Grenier, Anthony Arkin, Diana Krall
Billie Holiday | Sigmund Freud | Woody Allen | Marilyn Monroe | Elaine Stritch | cocaine | crack cocaine | diazepam | Valium | ethyl alcohol-wormwood-green anise
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Writer David tells writer Jerry, “There’s more insight in that joke...” (0:02)

Jerry, referring to David: “Did I know when I first met him how nuts he was?” (0:03)

Comedian’s agent: “... and at this point we can’t afford some crazy prices...” (0:03)

Jerry tells David, “It’s my main problem in analysis.”
David: “You’re in analysis already?”
Jerry: “I've actually turned down some TV jobs in Los Angeles because my shrink felt we weren't finished yet.”
David: “You chose psychoanalysis over real life? Are you learning disabled?”
Jerry: “Obviously, you’re not familiar with psychoanalysis.”
David: “I’m completely familiar with psychoanalysis.”
”A nuthouse. I was in the psycho ward for about six months, a vacation I don’t look back on with great nostalgia.”
”That’s why they put you in a straitjacket.”
Jerry: “You were in a straitjacket?”
David: “I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, you know, ‘Why did you get so depressed...’ and before I knew it there were guys from Con Ed with jumper cables in my head... and why are you in analysis?”
Jerry: “Fear of death.” (0:04)

Jerry, referring to his girlfriend Amanda, “She drives me crazy...” (0:08)

Amanda tells Jerry, “I’m in a bad mood.”
Jerry: “Don’t obsess.”
Amanda: “I’m so fat it’s disgusting.”
“It can be my insomnia snack.”
”I’m fat.” (0:09)

Amanda tells Jerry, referring to her mother, “What happened is she’s Madame Bovary.” (0:12)

By telephone his agent Harvey tells Jerry, “There’s nothing to get anxious about.” (0:14)

Amanda: “I try to sing, but then I hear someone like Billie Holiday...” (0:18)

His girlfriend Brooke tells Jerry, “You’re drunk.” (0:22)

Brooke tells Jerry, “You’re drunk.”
”Your friend Bob’s crazy about her.” (0:22)

By telephone Jerry tells Amanda, “I know you were interested in picking up some Billie Holiday.” (0:23)

Amanda tells Jerry, “I’m too fat.”
”But I have these great new diet pills.” (0:25)

Jerry tells Amanda, “Well, there was something compelling about your apathy.” (0:27)

Jerry on couch in psychoanalytic session with his psychoanalyst. Jerry: “I can’t keep wasting my hour here describing lunatic dreams.”
”He wants me to free associate about the Cleveland Indians at Toys-R-Us.” (0:29)

Amanda tells Jerry, “You have such an ego.”
Jerry: “An ego?” (0:32)

David tells Jerry, referring to women, “I’m sure you could find one if you got her drunk enough.” (0:33)

David tells Jerry, “Because you were obsessed with the physically prepossessing little waitresses that were running around." (0:35)

Jerry tells Amanda, referring to the subjects of David’s poems, “Cancer, and shock treatments and gas chambers.” (0:36)

David tells Jerry, “Last night... I conjured up a threesome with me, and Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren.” (0:39)

Jerry: “Dobel, you’re a madman.”
”Just how crazy are you? Do you hear voices on the radio or worship snakes or something?” (0:42)

Jerry: “Dobel, this is making me pretty nervous.” (0:43)

Amanda: “Have you had a mental breakdown?”
Jerry asks Amanda, “Am I an imbecile?” (0:44)

Jerry tells Amanda, “That’s crazy.”
Amanda suffers a panic attack. (0:52)

Amanda tells emergency room Dr. Phil Reed, “Then I have my antidepressants and my sleeping pills.”
Phil: “But they have opposite effects.”
”Why do you use diet pills?” (0:54)

Jerry in session with his psychoanalyst, referring to Amanda, “Men go instantly crazy for her.”
Psychoanalyst: “Because I think it’s an acting out, and I feel it’s more to your advantage to talk about it than act out.”
”If you don’t get rid of the rifle then I can’t continue the analysis.” (0:54)

Poster: “Absinthe” (0:55)

David asks Jerry, “What are you, a cretin?”
”The guy’s an idiot.”
”You've been with a shrink for years...”
Jerry: “Incidentally, my shrink says I have to get rid of the rifle.”
”He says it’s an acting out.”
David: “There’s always been priests around and shamans and now shrinks...”
Jerry: “You’re... a deeply, deeply deranged human being.” (0:58)

Jerry, referring to David: “He’s a simple, garden variety paranoid.” (1:01)

Amanda: “I need a sleeping pill.”
Amanda’s mother Paula, “This goddamn ballad is driving me crazy.” (1:04)

Jerry: “Freud says, sex and work. Dobel says work gives the illusion of meaning, and sex gives the illusion of continuity.”
Paula tells Jerry, “I am so nervous... Where does Amanda keep her Valium?”
Jerry: “I’ll get you a Valium.” (1:07)

Session with psychoanalyst. Jerry: “I went into the bathroom to get her mother a Valium... I feel like committing suicide...” (1:07)

Jerry asks David, “Why do you put these paranoid thoughts in my head?”
Jerry, referring to Amanda: “The pill makes her crazy.”
David: ”The pill makes her crazy? She is crazy.”
Jerry: “I’m too nervous to follow her.”
David: “... not some mercurial little jitterbug who’ll have you holding up filling stations to keep her in mood elevators.” (1:08)

Paula tells Amanda, “At my AA meeting.”
Amanda: “Great. An alcoholic.”
Paula: “He’s not an alcoholic. He’s the alcoholic’s friend, the enabler.”
Amanda: “Jesus, you’re so crazy.” (1:12)

Amanda tells Jerry, “I have to know if I was some kind of freak or frigid.”
”It is a maddening problem.”
Jerry: “I’m gonna blow my brains out.” (1:13)

David tells Jerry, “That’s the kind of therapy that they advertise on the back page of the Village Voice.”
Jerry: “I’m totally confused.”
David: “This... sex kitten who’s driving you crazy... and you got this shrink who, like God, never speaks, and, like God, is dead.” (1:15)

David tells Jerry, “I mean... you with... your shrink...” (1:17)

A thug asks David, “What, are you high on crack?”
”Idiots.” (1:18)

Jerry tells David, “Crazy!” (1:20)

Jerry: “On the one hand I was convinced that Dobel was a raving, psychotic lunatic... He’s nuts.” (1:20)

Jerry asks Amanda, “What if you return to a shrink?”
Amanda: “I told you, shrinks don’t work for me.” (1:22)

Amanda tells Jerry, “The wine has put me, um, very much in the mood.” (1:23)

Jerry types, “Dobel is a lunatic...” (1:24)

Paula: “Jerry, we saw Elaine Stritch on Broadway tonight.”
Paula tells Ralph, “I've never had cocaine before.”
Ralph tells Jerry, as he pours white powder on a Jerry’s computer, “It’s blow.”
Jerry: “Blow? What are you doing with blow?”
Amanda tells Paula, “I had to take two sleeping pills tonight.”
Paula: “We just saw Elaine Stritch on Broadway... You want some cocaine?”
Amanda: “Cocaine?”
Jerry: “No, we don’t want any cocaine, Amanda. No, we don’t want cocaine.”
Ralph snorts.
Jerry: “I’m not going to snort cocaine, okay?”
Paula snorts.
Ralph: “Just do a line.”
Ralph snorts.
Paula: “It’s not like we’re drug addicts or anything.”
Jerry: “They snorted cocaine... She’s giving her daughter coke.” (1:25)

Amanda tells Jerry, “God, you’re so paranoid.” (1:27)

David: “What are you telling me, Falk, that you’re on the defensive because you wouldn't snort cocaine?”
Jerry: “It’s not the cocaine.”
Jerry, referring to Harvey: “He’ll commit suicide.”
”Are you insane?” (1:28)

Jerry: “There I am... a little drunk... and I start to see what it is about Connie that Amanda had raved about.” (1:35)

Jerry in psychoanalytic session: “I’m terminating our sessions...” (1:36)

Amanda tells Jerry, “Idiots who are total losers in New York got to L.A. and become millionaires.”
”The psychodynamic has changed.” (1:39)

David tells Jerry, “In a satirical mood I thought it would be amusing if I shot him in the ass, but it was dark, and I was nervous...” (1:43)