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Cabin Boy

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Cast
Chris Elliott, Ritch Brinkley, James Gammon, Brian Doyle-Murray, Brion James, Melora Walters, I.M. Hobson, Alex Nevil, David H. Sterry, Bob Elliott, Jim Cummings, David Letterman, Ann Magnuson, Russ Tamblyn, Ricki Lake, Andy Richter
Released
1994
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Finishing school graduate Nathaniel tells his driver, “Oh, that was so nice, you moron.”
”Not that slow, imbecile.” (0:06)

Nathaniel tells cabin boy Kenny, “Pipe down, you imbecile.” (0:14)

Capt. Greybar: “We got us a half-crazed boat hopper.”
Nathaniel: “... and you’re just stage actors pretending to be filthy drunkards.”
Crewman Big Teddy: ”This moron got on the wrong boat.” (0:17)

Nathaniel tells crewman Paps, referring to his father, “I’m afraid he’ll become despondent and turn a pistol upon himself.”
”Is there not one person on this boat who’s not monstrously insane? Oh, it’s maddening.” (0:20)

Nathaniel: “Kenneth, your captain has been under a great deal of stress lately...” (0:21)

Greybar tells the crew, “As you all know, there’s only one island in Hell’s Bucket, and I for one am not crazy about landing there.”
Crewman Skunk: “Yeah, well I ain’t crazy about sittin’ on a boat till she sinks...” (0:28)

Nathaniel tells the crew he’s “Not crazy about the idea.” (0:32)

Nathaniel: “Well, you know most people would think they were insane if they saw something like that...”
”Nathaniel Mayweather has lost his mind.” (0:34)

Greybar: “Oh lord, spare me another one of these insanities.”
Nathaniel: “They ought to rename this place Wackyville, ooh, ‘cause it’s wacky.” (0:38)

Paps: “All this anxiety from being in a strange and mysterious land is giving me gas.” (0:39)

Greybar tells Nathaniel, “I come from six generations of seamen, all with the same goal in life: Catch fish, sell ‘em, get drunk, and get laid.” (0:41)

Nathaniel, referring to a woman floating in the sea: “Every instinct in my lower half tells me the Holy Father has preordained our meeting.”
Swimmer Trina: ”You idiot...” (0:42)

Trina: “So this is what you guys do for fun? Humiliate an imbecile.” (0:46)

Trina tells Nathaniel, “I’m always flattered when a psychotic becomes smitten with me.” (0:49)

Greybar orders Nathaniel, “Okay, moron, you go stand in the bow...” (0:51)

Big Ted, referring to Nathaniel: “Crazy kid, huh.” (0:53)

Nathaniel tells the other, referring to Trina, “She seems totally uninterested in me, despite my smothering obsessiveness.” (0:56)

Cali tells Nathaniel, “You’ve managed to charm me with your moronic innocence.” (1:01)

Trina tells Nathaniel, “You look so strong, confidant, not nearly as idiotic.” (1:02)

Trina tells Nathaniel, referring to the crew, “Those idiots are leaving us here.” (1:05)

Nathaniel: “Paps, you’ve been like the drunken, abusive grandfather I never had.” (1:12)

Nathaniel asks Trina, “Are you drunk or something?” (1:13)

His father William tells Nathaniel, “You’re delirious.”
”You’re out of your mind.” (1:14)

Nathaniel tells Trina, “That would be insane.” (1:15)