Canadian Bacon

Roy Boy tries, but fails, to drive his car over a cliff at Niagara Falls (0:04)

Television news reporter Kelly: "Meanwhile, in other news, due to the record number laid-off workers jumping to their death in Niagara Falls, the city council has just approved an incentive program" (0:05)

Deputy Sheriff Kabral Jabar tells Sheriff Bud Boomer, "All these guns and white people are making me nervous." (0:10)

CIA agent: "Reroute the heroin through Cancun." (0:28)

CIA agent Gus tells National Security advisor Stu smiley, "These Canadians suffer from a serious inferiority complex."
”It was crazy of us to have been so blind for so long.” (0:29)

President of the United States: "My God, that's shocking." (0:32)

Television news anchor Edwin S. Simon: "What would be the psychological motivation to erect a huge, long, rigid shaft?" (0:34)

Boomer tells the other bar patrons, "Do not panic. I repeat, do not panic." (0:37)

Snake tells Simon: "Our correspondent Charles Jackal, who is rejoining us after a stint at the Betty Ford Clinic, kicks off our team coverage." (0:42)

Boomer, referring to Canadians: "This’ll drive them crazy."
”Roy Boy, you idiot, pick this up.” (0:46)

Mountie tells Boomer, Jabar and Roy Boy, referring to an inmate, "This man was arrested for being in too many bad moods."
Referring to deputy Honey: ”They took her to the capital to give her a free mental health examination.” (0:57)

Jabar tells Boomer, "Danny Glover did not drive Miss Daisy..." (1:03)

Roy boy asks Boomer, "You ever see The Dirty Dozen?"
Jabar, referring to Trini Lopez: ”What in the hell was he doing in The Dirty Dozen?”
”Think about it man. Unforgiven, Alien, Rocky IV, The Shining.”
Roy Boy: ”Star Trek II, Forrest Gump, Witness.”
Boomer: ”Annie Hall. Not Annie Hall.”
Roy Boy: ”Night of the Living Dead.”
Jabar: ”And what about that brother in Jurassic Park, man?”
Roy Boy: ”Hey, don't worry Kabral.”
Boomer: ”Knock it off with this Dirty Dozen stuff. Did anyone see Dirty Dancing?” (1:09)

A girl tells Boomer, "There’s some crazy Americans up there with a big gun."
Boomer tells the others, ”Crazy American lady with a gun.” (1:16)

Panzer tells defense contractor executive R. J. Hacker, "It's scum like you that make a simple war all screwed up and confusing." (1:18)

The President tells Hacker, "It's insane." (1:20)

Boomer tells Honey, "Don't like heights." (1:28)

Title, referring to Panzer: "Took his own life upon learning Hogan's Heroes was entirely fictional." (1:30)