Newscaster Mike, referring to newscaster Colin: "We hope you'll join us... as we look at the day's top issues from all sides, even McCormack's whacked out lefty perspective..." (0:01)
The manager tells the newsroom, referring to Mike and Colin, "I don't need their egos any bigger." (0:01)
Colin asks a producer, "Amber, could you get us those Medicare stats?" (0:03)
Colin tells Stewart, "Alex died." (0:08)
Stewart tells Colin, "I know, crazy, right?" (0:10)
Preacher Irvin on television talk show: "The Bible also very clearly tells us that homosexuality is an abomination." (0:12)
Colin asks Amber, "Uh, Medicare?" (0:15)
Mike tells Colin, "Little Mike's been puking all day, and the wife's in a mood." (0:17)
Colin tells intern Tee, "Phone home."
"Pet alien, like E.T." (0:21)
Colin tells Tee his messiness "Drove Stu nuts." (0:28)
Stewart tells Colin, "You know your little fetish for post-collegiates is bad enough..."
Colin, referring to Tee: "Talk to him... or, you can tell me that I'm crazy..." (0:32)
Stewart tells Colin, referring to Tee, "Well then get him some Ambien, or better yet, a shrink."
Colin: "I'm not an idiot."
"It's called empathy, Stewart."
Stewart: "Oh my god, your ego is just... Enjoy your empathy." (0:49)
Colin tells Stewart, referring to Tee, "He's got a concussion."
Colin asks Tee, "Are you insane?" (0:56)
Tee tells Stewart, referring to Colin, "And then he kissed me and got all freaked out." (1:05)
Stewart tells Colin, referring to Tee, "A social worker thinks he needs some inpatient treatment, and I can't stomach them shipping him off to that whack job grandfather..."(1:11)
Psychologist Dr. Ackerman tells Colin, "We have a group session starting shortly... Just reconnect..." (1:18)