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Dark Shadows (2012)

Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Bella Heathcote, Chloë Grace Moretz, Gulliver McGrath
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Vampire Barnabas: “Convinced that my parents’ death was no accident I became obsessed with dark magic and ancient curses... But even then, in the depths of my grief, not all was darkness... Caught in Angeliques’ spell my beloved Josette wandered helplessly towards Widow’s Hill where many a despondent soul had leapt to their death.” (0:03)

While Barnabas watches, Josette lets herself fall to her death. Barnabas jumps. (0:05)

Movie theater marquis: “Deliverance” (0:10)

Matriarch Elizabeth tells governess Victoria, referring to psychiatrist Dr. Julia Hoffman, “... I suspect is sleeping off one of her legendary hangovers.”
Referring to her grandson David and his mother Laura: “He’s has a rather difficult time accepting her passing.” (0:14)

Elizabeth's daughter Carolyn tells Vicky, “So you’re here to babysit the loony.” (0:16)

Carolyn tells Vicky, referring to Carolyn’s cousin David, “You don’t have to be nice to him just because he’s nuts, you know.” (0:18)

Barnabas tells caretaker Willie, “Fear me not, drunkard.” (0:26)

Carolyn asks Barnabas, “Are you stoned or something?” (0:29)

Elizabeth tells Barnabas, “But he believed our family was cursed, and when his parents were killed he went mad.” (0:32)

The fish packing plant foreman tells witch Angelique, “Some maniac ripped their throats out.” (0:39)

Angie tells Barnabas, “I remember this place being less depressing.” (0:42)

Barnabas tells Elizabeth, “I attempted to throw myself from a cliff...”
Elizabeth: ”You fought on, Barnabas, in your own crazy and miserable way...” (0:45)

Julia asks Barnabas, “Do you know what a psychiatrist is?”
”It’s a medical doctor that specializes in disorders of the mind. I am a psychiatrist.”
”Have you any experience with hypnotism, Barnabas?”
”I find hypnotism cuts through all that.”
”May I hypnotize you, Barnabas?” (0:52)

Julia tells Elizabeth, referring to Barnabas, “I had him under hypnosis for hours.”
”There‘s a point where all delusions fail, but his didn’t budge.”
”Medically, psychologically and physically, he’s fascinating.” (0:54)

Hippies share a joint. “Man, you tripped for two centuries?”(0:57)

Julia tells Barnabas, “Every year I get half as pretty and twice as drunk.”
”Barnabas, are you aware of the concept of doctor-patient confidentiality?” (1:00)

Angie: “Hypnotizing fishermen isn’t business acumen, Barnabas.” (1:04)

The coat check lady smokes a joint. (1:14)

Alice cooper sings in a straight jacket. (1:15, 1:18)

Vicky tells Barabas, “It’s almost hypnotic.” (1:16)

Vicky (now Maggie) in a straight jacket in a padded room. A doctor administers electroconvulsive therapy. (1:17)

David tells Barnabas, “You probably think I’m crazy.” (1:30)

Carolyn: “I’m a werewolf, okay?” (1:39)