Death to Smoochy

The Kidnet chairman tells executive Frank, “We got nervous sponsors and an angry public.” (0:03)

Frank tells V.P. Nora that the actor who plays television character Buggy Ding Dong is a “Heroin mule.” (0:04)

Sheldon’s (actor who plays television character Smoochy) outgoing message: “... or you can catch my regular Friday night gig at the Coney Island methadone clinic.” (0:05)

Signs on doors: “METHADONE DISPENSARY”
Nora watches Smoochy the Rhino sing to methadone patients. (0:07)

Nora tells Sheldon, “At least you know it’s the smack that’s knocking them out and not your singing, right.”
Sheldon: “... we do have trained counselors inside... You came here on the H train, right, Riding the horse? On the juice?” (0:07)

Smoochy addresses the meeting: “I don’t think we’re going to do that by selling... Smoochy Cola, which contains no less than two addictive substances, I might add.” (0:15)

The bartender tells Sheldon, “I never saw anybody get buzzed on orange juice before.” (0:18)

Sheldon tells Nora, “You don’t get to tell this boy what to do anymore, you uptight...HALT. It’s a self-recognition technique. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired.” (0:36)

Agent Burke: “Sheldon, I know you got a fetish for ethics...” (0:39)

Thug Spinner tells Sheldon, “I’m gonna go get drunk now.”
Nora: “Casting the show with mental patients, I like that.”
Sheldon: ”He’s not a mental patient.” (0:40)

Nora tells Sheldon, “I’m drunk.”
”... shtifaced.”
Smoochy: ”I got ordered to take this anger management class in college...”
Nora: “Usually when I tell people about Rickets, they look at me like I’m whacked.” (0:43)

Sheldon tells Randolph, the actor who played television character Rainbow, “Oh, well I wouldn’t know about his sleeping disorders...” (0:47)

A reporter asks Smoochy, “Is Adolf Hitler your personal hero?” (0:50)

Sheldon tells Nora, “In case you haven’t noticed I’m being compared unfavorably with Goebbels.”
Nora: “I was drunk.” (0:51)

A street person tells Sheldon, “Bastards... won’t help a poor hophead.” (0:53)

A reporter asks Rainbow, “Nora Wells says you have an unhealthy obsession with Sheldon Mopes.”
Reporter: “What about the rumors that you’re crazy?... I’m on the same dosage I’ve always been.”
Randolph’s attorney, referring to Randolph: “... he’s sinking into a deep psychotic depression.” (0:58)

Nora tells Sheldon, “Man, it’s crazy out there.” (0:59)

Sheldon tells Burke, “Half of all the profits are gonna go to rebuild the Coney Island drug clinic.”
“The other half we use to fund education programs about drugs for kids, because, let’s face it, big junkies come from little junkies.”
Burke: “That’s suicide.” (1:04)

Randolph pours gasoline over himself in preparation for self-immolation. (1:08)

Memorial service for Spinner. Tommy: “Let’s go pray and get shitfaced.” (1:15)

Frank tells Burke, referring to Buggy, “He’s crazy.”
”You mean our smack addict?”
“We’re relying on a smack addict.” (1:19)

Actor Angie tells Randolph, “You don’t want to kill yourself.” (1:20)

Nora tells Sheldon, “Until he discovered the joys of Turkish black mule heroin.”
Sheldon, referring to Frank: ”Why would Stokes want to replace Smoochy with some smack addict?”
Nora: ”Randolph, you have lost your mind.”
Randolph: ”When I lived here it was Bob Fosse.” (1:23)

Angie tells Buggy, “I thought you cleaned up.”
Buggy: ”Yeah, I cleaned up. I cleaned up half the poppies in Asia.” (1:28)

Sheldon tells Nora, “There’s a lot of kids and a lot of junkies out there who are counting on me.” (1:29)

Smoochy tells the audience, “On behalf of myself and the soon to be restored Coney Island methadone clinic...” (1:30)

Rainbow: “I’m trying to save a friend from a deranged junkie.” (1:33)

Buggy tells Rainbow, “Let go of me you... junkie.” (1:37)