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Flirting with Disaster

Ben Stiller, Patricia Arquette, Téa Leoni, Mary Tyler Moore, George Segal, Alan Alda, Lily Tomlin, Richard Jenkins, Josh Brolin, Celia Weston, Glenn Fitzgerald, David Patrick Kelly
Jeffrey Dahmer | Mary Tyler Moore | lysergic acid diethylamide | marijuana | tobacco
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Mel tells an adoption agent, “Depending on my mood I imagine that any one of them could be my father... I can’t help feeling that if I’d been raised by at least one of my real parents I wouldn’t be such a nervous person.”
Referring to his wife: ”I’ve been driving her crazy.” (0:00)

Psychology student Tina tells Mel and his wife Nancy, “You see, there’s such a dearth of in depth documentation into the psychological impact that these reunions have...”
Nancy: ”So you’re a psychologist.” (0:07)

Mel's adoptive mother Pearl: “This is becoming an embarrassing neurotic thing Mel.”
Mel: ”It’s not an embarrassing neurotic thing.”
Pearl, referring to Tina, “She’s a counselor.”
Tina, “... but psychic scars can’t be helped.”
Mel’s adoptive father Ed: “Psychic scars?”
Pearl asks Tina, “Why don’t you psychoanalyse me?... My husband is food phobic, passive aggressive...” (0:12)

Mel's supposed birth mother Valerie: “Frotteurist.”
Valerie’s daughter Sandra: “Yeah, he’s a frotteurist.”
Mel: “Frotteurist, what’s that?” (0:24)

Mel’s supposed biological father Fritz tells him, “Don’t need no son to give me a guilt trip about a phone.” (0:30)

Nancy tells Mel, referring to Boudreau, “That man was a lunatic, a stranger.” (0:34)

Pearl asks Mel by telephone, “So how’s the psychic healing going?” (0:41)

Paul: “I’m feeling very depressed, and I would like to talk about what’s happening.”
Detective Tony: “What are you feeling depressed about?” (0:51)

Tony tells the others, “For example, I’m very anal, uh, in the sense that I’m compulsively careful and clean about what touches my body.“
Nancy asks Mel, “Are you a homophobic?” (0:53)

Tony asks Me, “Then why’d you say it, neurotic guy?”
Mel: “I’m neurotic guy? I don’t think you know me well enough to call me neurotic guy.” (0:55)

Mel asks his birth mother Mary, “You made LSD?”
Her husband Richard: “We made LSD.”
Mary: “Yes, we made acid.”
Richard: “You know there are hundreds of pharmaceutical executives in this country that are selling drugs, FDA approved drugs...”
Richard: “Incredible side effects.”
Mary: “Horrible side effects.”
Richard: “Terrible side effects...”
”LSD shouldn’t be a felony in the first place.”
Mary: “It’s not addictive.”
Mel, asks Mary, “Did you take acid while you were pregnant with me?”
Mary tells Mel, referring to identity, “You mustn’t fixate on it.”
Paul: “I’m seeing colors that I don’t want to see.”
”Everything’s moving.”
Lonnie: “I dosed Mel’s dish.”
Richard: “Are you crazy? Are you nuts?”
Mary: ”Even if you were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would love you.”
Richard: “This drives me nuts.”
Lonnie: “I’m sorry that I put windowpane in Mel’s quail...”
Mel: “I can’t believe you’re actually keeping acid in the house after you went to prison for it.”
Richard tells Mel, referring to Mary, “She’s a great guide.”
Mel: “I’m sure you are an excellent guide.” (1:05)

Tina tells Mel, “I guess it’s just one of those ex-felon, pro-acid kind of nonsmoking homes.”
Mel: “Don’t take this personally, but with all your nervous energy you kind of remind me of my mother.” (1:09)

Richard tells Paul, referring to Mary, “She’s a great guide.” (1:11)

Mel asks Nancy and Tony, “Can we stop all this craziness, huh? (1:12)

Mary tells Richard, referring to Paul, “He’s trippin’ his brains out.”
Paul: “Bureau of Tobacco, Tobacco, and Tobacco.”
Lonnie hits Paul over the head with an iron skillet. (1:12)

Nancy tells Mel, “I can’t follow your fickle little moods all over the place.” (1:13)

Mary: “This is insane.” (1:14)

Lonnie in the basement drug lab. Stack of blotter paper. (1:15)

Richard asks Mary and Lonnie, “Where’s the acid?” (1:19)

Mary asks Mel, “There were drugs in the trunk of your car. Why are there drugs in the trunk of your car?”
Mel tells jailer Artie, “These people are not drug runners.” (1:23)

Pearl asks Ed, “Can you imagine the neurosis that child would be exposed to? (1:24)

Paul tells Tony, “It’s making me too nervous.”
Tony, referring to the baby: ”It made you too nervous when he was in the other room.” (1:26)

Lonnie tells Mary, “I’m looking for some weed.”
Mary: “You find your own weed.” (1:27)