By telephone Frank asks, “You a real estate broker, or professional... idiot?” (0:02)
His surgeon tells dentist Bertram, “I notice you requested a general anesthetic.”
Bertram: “Sorry, you babbling idiots, can we talk about my bowels?”
Surgeon: “Looks like the sodium thiopental’s really kicking in, huh? Makes people say crazy things.” (0:11)
Bertram, referring to a nurse: “I picked one that should be in a straight jacket.” (0:14)
Bertram, referring to a man in the road: “Idiot.” (0:14)
Bertram tells a policeman, “Officer, there's looney weirdos.” (0:15)
The surgeon asks Bertram: “What kind of side effects?”
“Hallucinations.”
Surgeon: “Visual or aural?”
Bertram: ”Not having hallucinations, I'd have thought.”
Surgeon: ” for the record, we did not recommend that you use general anesthesia. When you use anesthesia, there is a chance, although it is small, of a biochemical anomaly.”
Surgeon: “Now, about these hallucinations.” (0:16)
Bertram tells Frank, “Something went wrong with the anesthetic.”
Frank: “What kind of anesthetic did they use?” (0:24)
Bertram tells Frank, “You're the bizarre after effects of some poorly administered anesthetic.” (0:25)
A ghost tells Bertram, “She won't wear a helmet because of me, but that's nuts!” (0:26)
Frank tells Bertram, “It's this whole self-loathing thing.”
Frank: “ Frankie spent some time on the couch. You know, dentists have one of the highest suicide rates of any other profession.”
”This is crazy, all right?” (0:28)
Frank tells Bertram, “You know, for the sake of time I'm going to agree with that insane point...” (0:36)
Frank tells Bertram, referring to Frank’s widow Gwen, “This will make her absolutely nuts.” (0:36)
Frank tells Gwen, referring to her x-ray of an Egyptian mummy, “Not if it's only on one side, you idiot. (0:38)
Frank Telles Bertram, “You left the newspaper on a cell phone ad, you sadist.”
Bertram: ”I’m not in the mood anymore.” (0:40)
Bertram tells Gwen, referring to his girlfriend Sarah, “No, she died, actually. Quite sad. She had a rare condition. Have you heard of auto-cannibalism? She actually ate herself.”
Gwen: “I moved back to the city about a year ago, after my husband died.” (0:45)
Frank tells Bertram, referring to Gwen's lawyer fiance Richard, “Idiot boy, you're making him look good.” (0:48)
Gwen tells Bertram, referring to her dog Leonard, “His mood levelers give him this ulcerating skin rash.” (0:52)
Bertram tells Gwen, “This is therapeutic.”
Gwen, referring to Frank: “He had a shoe fetish.”
Bertram: “Pervert.”
”So now we've got a narcissistic, obnoxious pervert who's rude to waiters.” (0:56)
Richard tells Bertram, “I tend to grind my teeth pretty hard when I'm stressed.”
Bertram: “This is a little dab of nitrous oxide.”
Richard: “Nitrous? I didn't know you guys still used nitrous. Are there any side effects?” (1:07)
Bertram tells Frank, referring to Richard, “Because I gave him 700 ml. of nitrous oxide.” (1:10)
Bertram: “Oh, therapy time.” (1:12)
Bertram tells Gwen, “Don't panic.”
“It'll sound crazy.” (1:12)
Bertram asks his dentist partner, Dr. Prashar, “What I'm trying to say is, could you write me a prescription for Percocet? Well, I can't prescribe myself, can I, legally? or Darvon, or Vicodin... I'm not even going to ask for morphine.” (1:22)
Bertram tells Gwen, referring to Frank, “Let the pervert decay in peace.” (1:29)