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Instant Family

Twitter
Cast
Mark Wahlberg, Rose Byrne, Octavia Spencer, Isabela Merced, Eve Harlow, Julie Hagerty, Tom Segura, Tig Notaro, Iliza Shlesinger, Gary Weeks, Allyn Rachel, Joselin Reyes, Nicholas Logan, Javier Ronceros
Released
2018
crack cocaine | hormone | methamphetamine
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Ellie tells her husband Pete, "... And then we are going crazy trying to get the business started..." (0:03)

Ellie tells Pete, "It's kind of crazy..."
”Well, you can't take some offhand remark I made and turn it into a crazy life decision.” (0:05)

Ellie tells prospective foster mom October: ".. like The Blind Side...?... I mean, that is the plot of The Blind Side..."
Pete tells Ellie, ”Yeah, she's nuts.”
Pete, referring to his dog Meatball: ”... we love him like crazy...”
Support group guest speaker of the day Brenda Fernandez: ”So, when I was eight years old my mom and her boyfriend decided it would be a good idea to build a meth lab in our garage. They made me deliver drugs for them. They abused me physically, and some of their customers abused me sexually... The thing is, over half the kids who age out of foster care end up homeless, addicted, incarcerated, or dead within two years.” (0:10)

Ellie tells October, "I'm so sorry about the Blind Side comment."
Pete tells Ellie, referring to Brenda’s foster parents, ”They... install some countertops in the form of love or self-esteem, whatever.”
Ellie: ”I just get worried that you think things are going to be easier than they actually are.”
Pete: ”We're about to do something insane.”
”Louder, crazier.” (0:13)

Pete tells social worker Sharon, referring to a child, "Maybe like a fetal alcohol thing or something..."
Ellie tells Pete, referring to teenagers, ”They use drugs...”
Lizzy tells Ellie and Pete, ”... there's really no need to get all pitty-crazy.” (0:19)

Social worker Karen tells Pete and Ellie, referring to Lizzy, "Her mother... passed out with a crack pipe."
Pete: ”You know, the Avatar thing...”
”I just wanted to have the Avatar talk...” (0:21)

Ellie tells young Juan, "We’re obsessed with the Clippers." (0:27)

Ellie’s sister Kim, "We all thought you were out of your minds."
Ellie’s brother-in-law Jim: ”I think it's kind of smart, have a couple of kids without the pregnancy and the hormones and the... the rage.”
Kim’s husband Russ: ”Rather than just rolling the dice with the offspring of some criminal or drug addict.”
Kim: ”To be honest, we were worried about our real kids’ safety.”
Russ: ”We're talking about crack babies and kids who have been sexually harassed.”
Ellie’s sister, Jim’s wife, Linda: ”If you don't quit being so nuts about this baby thing...”
Pete tells Ellie, ”You’re crazy.” (0:30)

Ellie tells Pete, "That sounds insane coming out of your mouth."
”That’s insane.” (0:35)

Pete tells the support group, referring to jealousy, "It’s not a good trait, guys." (0:39)

Ellie tells Pete, "It’s crazy." (0:53)

Lizzy tells Ellie and Pete, "When I was nine, I lived in a crack house." (0:55)

Ellie tells Lizzy, "You're driving me crazy. You're acting like you're a psychopath." (0:58)

The ER doctor tells Juan, "We're going to clean this off, give you a little anesthetic... " (1:01)

Lizzy tells Ellie, "Don't freak out about it."
Ellie: ”Why would I freak out about it?” (1:04)

Lizzy tells Ellie, "Sorry I don't dress like an uptight douche like you." (1:08)

Pete tells Ellie, "Those kids were living like feral cats in a crack house."
Ellie: ”I mean, Sharon says she's been clean for like 4 months.”
Pete: ”Yeah, she got clean because she was in jail, Ellie.” (1:18)

Pete tells the group, "Every time they do, they're just crazy for a few days..."
Karen: ”When someone does terrible things to the children we love, it's not easy to find empathy for them...”
Pete: ”Juan and I bonded over Rocky III...”
October: ”This is the opposite of a support group.” (1:20)

Brenda’s mom: "Um, Brenda is back in rehab."
Brenda’s father, referring to Brenda:”We caught her using a couple months ago.”
Brenda’s mom tells Ellie: ”You listen to me, crazy woman, Brenda has struggled with substance abuse ever since her mother's boyfriend started her on meth when she was 11... And she's in there doing the work, getting herself clean. ”
”That was crazy.” (1:26)

Ellie calls janitor Jacob, "Filthy pedophile... Pedophile." (1:31)

Ellie tells Pete's mother Sandy, referring to Lizzy, "If she thinks that our statement’s the reason her mom doesn't get custody, she's going to hate us more than she does now." (1:33)

Judge Martin Rivas tells the children's mother, Miss Viara, "I also understand that you've been sober for the last five months." (1:36)

Pete tells Juan, "Don’t worry, pal." (1:38)

Karen tells Lizzy, referring to Lizzy's mother, "Honey, when we saw her, it's obvious she’s using again." (1:42)